Oderint dum metuant

Ah... It is once again that time of year that the Lord has given to us to celebrate life and love and forgiveness. Of course, silly humans that we are, we just moan on how Christmas and New Year don't feel like anything.

Get over yourself.

You know that hype you used to get during Christmas? That was childhood selfishness of recieving tons and tons of gifts from our parents and relatives. We're older now. We have more responsibilities. Can we not see Christmas in a materialistic aspect but a spiritual one?

So you may not be as excited for the New Year anymore. Well, fireworks, really. You've seen one, you've seen them all.

But, ah, a brand new year to celebrate and enjoy with family and friends. I look forward to it.

I raise my glass to 2008 and a toast to 2009!

I told a friend about this annoying habit or trait of mine to scribble short but important or worthless but interesting scenes on random pieces of paper and then losing them.

She suggested that I keep them in a box, to which I replied, "It's full."

Which it is. Or was, anyway. See, so that I could keep it and stuff it onto my closet, it was a relatively small box, the length and width of a notebook and the height of a five hundred paged book. And it wasn't the kind of box that had the kind of lid you find on shoe boxes. No, this box had a lid similar to trashcans. Hinged.

Continuing on the trashcan analogy, it was starting to resemble one. Pieces of paper were overflowing from it. And keep in mind that I really do write on random pieces of paper. From scraps of torn bond paper of all textures, parts of colored paper I had but out shapes from, bits of graphing paper with marks of being attempted to create the eighth fold on, and nice whole sheets of the various sizes of pad paper, they're all there.

And then there's the writing on them. For some, there's only on phrase scribbled on them, others have sentences going in all directions - left, right, up, down, around the loop, and upside down. There are also the varying handwritings that show what kind of mood I was in that day. Sometimes it's messy, sometimes it's neat; sometimes big, sometimes small; cursive, print; fat, thin. Then the condition of the paper itself! There is one piece of intermediate pad paper in it has been folded neatly, its edges aligned and the fold parallel to the lines. The paragraphs are grammatically correct and the spelling cannot err. My handwriting was neat, written slowly in cursive with a black ballpoint pen. And then there's this other piece of intermediate pad paper. It has been crumpled so many times that it's soft. The letters are scrawled without a care with a sign pen that bleeds and blots. The ink has run with a large area completely washed away because it had been tossed into water furiously before being doused with rubbing alcohol before it was decided to be worth keeping  and put out in the sun for an hour to dry. That piece of paper has been with me longer than anyone in their right mind would keep it. It reminds me of that day and its disappointments.

So, as you can see, the box could not be trusted any longer. Soon, it was replaced by a plastic, transparent ziplock sort of pouch that has three holes punched into it and put into a binder to join the random things I type into the computer, cellphone, or palm top and transfered before printing them out, as well as pages and pages of research, poems, and stories.

Now the binder is so thick it's rectangular and no longer the wedge shape it was originally was. And heavy. Very heavy. Two more binders have been added to join it in its suffering but wiht the length of the things I write, and my undecisiveness and constant plot changes, it gets fatter and fatter in proportion to ink levels on my printer getting lower and lower.

The binders aren't really looking so well either the moment. The original one is roughly four inches wide at the spine wile the opposite opening is also four, but only if I tie it shut. There are so many pages, the rings get more difficult to open and much more to close. The black cover has emblazoned symbols drawn on by correction pen and it is being chipped away and fixed at some parts, other parts not quite as white as it was years ago. The binder is old enough that the symbols' significances are now lost on me. The corners are being worn down and I don't even want to go onto detail on the inside.

And this entry has absolutely no significance. You see, you mask small actions by a big one.

"When writing a novel, that's pretty much entirely what life turns into: 'House burned down. Car stolen. Cat exploded. Did 1500 easy words, so all in all it was a pretty good day.'"

- Neil Gaiman

Yeah, that pretty much sums up how crazy writers are.

Our cats explode.

Why do I have this haunting need to procrastinate?

I just need to stop working and go do something else.

Like now, for example. instead of doing what I'm supposed to be doing, I'm blogging about it.

Exaggeration, sugarcoating, and omission isn't called lying. It's called writing.

The Red Pencil of DOOM and the flammable, irritant, bad for the environment correction pen are my new bestest fwiends!

So, out of boredom, I decided to do the survey again. There are two answers because the first are the songs from my iPod, the second are the songs from iTunes. Looking back now, I probably should not have done iTunes as my songs are all in the other computer and the songs here are mostly from "The Open Door", "The Black Parade", and "Minutes to Midnight". Because of that, I kind of had to cheat and press the forward button just to it wouldn't be Linkin Lark after Linkin Park.

1. Put your iTunes, windows media player etc on Shuffle
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS
4. Put any comments in brackets after the song name
 

1. If someone says "is this okay?" you say,
 "In Pieces" by Linkin Park [Yeah, sure, it's okay... IF IT'S IN PIECES! >:)]
"The Anthem" by Good Charlotte [So... no...?]

2. How would you describe yourself?
" Mack the Knife" by Michael Buble [Shush, don't tell a soul.]
"Cloud Nine" by Evanescence [Hah, how would I know?]

3. What do you like in a guy/girl?
 "Crawling in the Dark" by Hoobastank [Whut?]
"Follow Me" by Breaking Benjamin [I like someone who follows me, obeys willingly, never questions, blah, blah, blah]

4. How do you feel today?
 "Faint" by Linkin Park [Weak kneed, but not faint. Then again, I've always been a bit weak kneed.]
"The Little Things Give You Away" by Linkin Park [... Again, whut?]

5. What is your life's purpose?
 "Beast" by Wolfgang [Under the full moon, I turn into a werewolf! Ph34r ME!!1]
"Maneater" by Nelly Furtado [It just reinforces what I told you earlier. I turn into a werewolf and then I eat you. See? The mists of darkness do not lie.]

6. What is your motto?
"Figure.09" by Linkin Park [I have no idea why Linkin Park keeps popping up. Either way, I don't get my motto either.]
"La Vie Boheme" by the Rent Cast [Actually, I've been playing this song on loop for quite a while now...]

7. What do your friends think of you?
 "Poor Twisted Me" by Metallica [My friends think of me like this? I... I'm touched. *tear*]
"High School Never Ends" by Bowling For Soup [Yep, they'll never get rid of me. Until the day I've turned them all gay, they can never get rid of me. *burst out in laughter*]

8. What do you think of your parents?
 "Love In This Club" by Boyce Avenue [CURSE MY SISTERS FOR THEIR PLAYLISTS! CURSES!]
"Cancer" by My Chemical Romance [... I'd really rather not think of connecting that with them, thank you very much.]

9. What do you think about very often?
 "Sell Me Candy" by Rihanna [CAAAANDEH!!!]
"Taste the Blood" from Devil May Cry 3 [The candy tastes like blood?]

10. What is 2 + 2?
 "Day Tripper" by David Cook [Apparently... I can't do math. Huh...]
"You Know My Name" by Chris Cornell [So, your name is Four, huh?]

11. What do you think of your best friend?
 "Breathe" by The Prodigy [That's right. If my best friend could breathe, I would probably have one.]
"Almeno Stavolta" by Nek [I don't understand it. I found the translation, but I still don't understand it.]

12. What do you think of the person you like?
 "King Nothing" by Metallica [Fascinating... Well, better the person I supposedly like than my life story!]
"Moonlight Sonata" by Ludwig Van Beethoven [You're solemn and depressing. I listen to you only when I'm writing emotional scenes. You have a sad life. Why do I like you again?]

13. What is your life story?
 "East of the Sun and West of the Moon" by Frank Sinatra [Eh? *brain starts to fizzle and die*][Strangely, this is number 13][Oh, how life hath cursed mine wretched soul]
"Sweet Sacrifice" by Evanescence [I'd rather not talk about this either, okay? The strange reliving of horrible childhood memories just won't stop...]

14. What do you want to be when you grow up?
 "El Vito" by Sergei Vicente/Antonio De Lucena [This is one of my favorite guitar pieces, BUT WHAT DOES IT MEAN?!?!]
"My World" by Sick Puppies [I wanna be my world?]

15. What do you think of when you see the person you like?
 "More" by Frank Sinatra [I am going to scream. I swear. The iPod is tormenting me. TORMENTING ME!]
"Teenagers" by My Chemical Romance [Nope, this doesn't make sense either]

16. What will you dance to at your wedding?
 "So Close" by John McLaughlin [While this is a very romantic song, I don't think that the lyrics are very appropriate for a wedding.]
"Crush" by David Archuleta [Uh...]

17. What will they play at your funeral?
 "The Four Horsemen" by Metallica. [Now that I'm dead, you're all next!] [I would just like to point out the album which this song comes from: "Kill 'Em All"]
"Scars" by Papa Roach

18. What is your hobby/interest?
 "The Nightingale Sang in Berkely Square" by Mel Torme [Well, I like singing.] [I wonder what 'nightingale' means...] [cough]
"Fly Me to the Moon" by Frank Sinatra [Nightingales fly... Interesting...]

19. What is your biggest fear?
 "Filmstar" by Suede [ZOMFG!!!! IT'S BRAD PITT! RUN, PEOPLE! RUN FOR YOUR EFFING LIVES!!! AAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!]
"In Between" by Linkin Park [I am actually not fond of small spaces, crowds, et cetera]

20. What is your biggest secret?
 "Semenelin" by Wolfgang [Hush, love. Don't tell a soul]
"What I Want" by Chris Daughtry [Well, we all have some secret wants, don't we?]

21. What do you think of your friends?
 "I Can't Wait Forever" by Simple Plan [Uh... Why do these kind of songs keep popping up at this question? I mean, seriously. Do I really think of my friends this way? *snorts*]
"No More Sorrow" by Linkin Park [Cheer up, emo kid!] [Emo kid may be used to refer most of my friends, as it seems.]

22. What will you post this as?
"Cassie" by Flyleaf [Sure, that ought to attract attention]
"Shall Never Surrender" by Jason "Shyboy" Arnold of Hyonogaja [Well, it forms a nice little sentence, doesn't it?]

I answered this twice. The first was 12/9/2007 and the second was a while ago, 8/21/2008. The contents of my iPod was rather different then. And I was rather high. *clears throat*

1. Put your iTunes, windows media player etc on Shuffle

2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.

3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS

4. Put any comments in brackets after the song name

 

1. If someone says "is this okay?" you say,

“Feelin’ Good” Pussycat Dolls [a yes, perhaps?]

“Sympathy for the Devil” by Guns ‘n’ Roses [I guess that’s a no.]

 

2. How would you describe yourself?

“Reach out, I’ll be there” The Four Tops [I don’t even remember this song]

“Bleeding Love” by Boyce Avenue [*splutters* Excuse me?!]

 

3. What do you like in a guy/girl?

“Think of Me” Phantom of the Opera [How egoistical]

“What I Want” by Chris Daughtry [Well, this doesn’t say much, does it?]

 

4. How do you feel today?

“Broken Heart” Dashboard Confessional [I have no idea…]

“My Way” by Frank Sinatra and Luciano Pavarotti [Not exactly…]

 

5. What is your life's purpose?

“Huljic: Alexander the Great” Bond [I shall conquer the world!]

“Through the Never” by Metallica [… I don’t get it. My purpose is nothing?]

 

6. What is your motto?

“Here without you” 3 doors down [I swear I have no idea what it means!]

“Half Alive” by Secondhand Serenade [Gah! The iPod is lying!]

 

7. What do your friends think of you?

“High and Dry” def leppard [Exactly what do they think of me? *twitch*]

“Bleed for Me” by Saliva [… What?]

 

8. What do you think of your parents?

“You” switchfoot [Yes. Me.]

“What If” by Simple Plan [Aba… High expectations.]

 

9. What do you think about very often?

“Drop in the ocean” Michelle Branch [Eh?]

“Gravedancer” by Velvet Revolver [I don’t even understand this song. *rolls eyes*]

 

10. What is 2 + 2?

“Promises” Def Leppard [Yep, that sounds about right]

“Sacred Lie” by Disturbed [That’s right too.]

 

11. What do you think of your best friend?

“So Sick” Ne-Yo [If you ignore the lyrics and just look at the title, this can work]

“Disappear” by Hoobastank [Shush! Shut up! This doesn’t mean… I mean… AH! *runs away*]

 

12. What do you think of the person you like?

“Boys and Girls” Good Charlotte [Consequently, I currently don’t have any crushes]

“Watermarks” by Wolfgang [*blushes, runs away again* LIES!]

 

13. What is your life story?

“The Sharpest Lives” MCR [Not really…]

“Roadworthy Man” by Wolfgang [I believe this is everyone’s life story]

 

14. What do you want to be when you grow up?

“The River Sings” Enya [I want to be a what?]

“The Great Escape” by Boys Like Girls [… shut up.]

 

15. What do you think of when you see the person you like?

“Ikaw ang Miss Universe” True Faith [strangely appropriate, no?]

“Should I” by Rihanna [right now, my alter ego is going, “Oh! Buuuuuuurn!” Shut up, alter ego.]

 

16. What will you dance to at your wedding?

“The Flavor” Oscar Lopez [better start learning Spanish dances, then]

“Down With The Sickness” by Disturbed [You have got to be effing kidding me]

 

17. What will they play at your funeral?

“Journey to the past” Anastasia [HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. No]

“Hero/Heroine” by Boys Like Girls [No.]

 

18. What is your hobby/interest?

“Charlie’s Angels Theme 2000” [I run around in slow motion doing action sequences impossible for my physique. Yep.]

“Easier to Run” by Linkin Park [Fine, fine. But it’s not so much as a hobby as it is a lifestyle]

 

19. What is your biggest fear?

“Tempest” Jesse Cook [My fear is Latin guitar songs with no lyrics. It strikes phe4r in your hearts. *rolls eyes*]

“Take My Hand” by Simple Plan [How is this a fear? On second thought, don’t answer that]

 

20. What is your biggest secret?

“Para sa Masa” Various Artists [I thought this was something to be proud of?]

“Metal Militia” by Metallica [Now this is more like it. *evil grin*]

 

21. What do you think of your friends?

“Cry Me A River” Justin Timberlake [Whoa. No way!]

“Can’t Take My Eyes Off You” by Andy Williams [AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!! LIES! ALL OF THESE ARE LIES!]

 

22. What will you post this as?

“Last Request” Paulo Nutini [My not-so “Last Request” is for you to join me in this insanity! Grab your iPods now.]

“Thriller” by Michael Jackson [Well, it is. Ain’tit?]

Just some songs. A lot of them are rather weird. *shrugs*
Some of them are based on pasts, some on futures, some on presents, and some simply as jokes. Some (most) are hard, some are so obvious it'll make you hurt yourself if you get it wrong. Enjoy.

1
Master of Puppets by Metallica
Lifestyle by Joe Satriani

2
Filmstar by Suede
Take Five by Dave Brubeck

3
Flight of the Bumble Bee by Maksim Mrvica
I Was Born (A Unicorn) by The Unicorns

4
From the Heart by Hoobastank
Breathe by The Prodigy

5
Flight of the Bumble Bee by Joe Satriani
Rollover DJ by Jet

6
Innocence by Avril Lavigne
Innocent by David Cook

7
Chasing Pavements by Adele
Let it Roll by Velvet Revolver

8
American Man by Velvet Revolver
The Ecstasy of Gold by Metallica

9
Get Free by The Vines
Goodbye, Apathy by OneRepulic

10
Moonlight Serenade by Glenn Miller
A Time For Us by Nino Rota (just the music)

11
Paris by Yael Naim
Psycho Killer by Velvet Revolver

12
Superhuman by Velvet Revolver
Someone to Save You by OneRepublic

13
When I Grow Up by The Pussycat Dolls
Killer Queen by Queen

There are plenty of things I can tell you about my trip to Boracay.

First, I went there expecting a bit of warmth, desperate for a change in scenery. I got the second, not the first. Although it was really the second I was dying for. I just wanted to get away from the city for reasons not even I know.

The weather, though it was monsoon season, was awesome. The strong winds would be freezing, the waves would just really slam and knock the wind out of you, rain would come in the most erratic and unpredictable patterns, and it would be fun! I'm being completely serious. That was the best part of the vacation.

Second is the incompetent staff, and the fact that I wanted to curse everyone I came in contact with, including my family.
 Damn irritable those four days except when I was in the water. And when I was reading.

The sandcastles that people usually build at night, the really big ones, were blown away or washed away. *chuckles*

Blah, blah, blah, giant burgers! There were delicious, giant burgers, there! Er... *cough*

And that's basically it.

Imagine me, freshman year, sitting at the back of the class, clutching tightly a pen and a piece of paper. Then, you get THIS as a result.

Pride of the Wild

I stand utterly immobile, not moving a single muscle, a pen in one hand and a piece of paper in the other. I just scrutinize them in their almost natural habitat. The scene is fear-provoking, noise all around, the noise growing louder by the second.

Already, the creatures I am watching are forming their herds. To some, the act is such magnificence to behold, to me, it is horrific. They sort together by species, some only being accepted through mimicry and camouflage, but the creatures that resort to this are the ones who are susceptible to flesh-eating and soul-sucking predators. Thus, they receive fortification inside the dominant herds. But there are other beasts that resort to this tactic for a different motive. Sometimes, it can be used as an attack.

Once a predator has successfully entered a herd, from inside, it starts to poison each of them, one by one, starting with the strongest one and working down to the most pitiable until the entire herd has disappeared. Sometimes, predators even work in herds themselves.

In other herds, the ones who are more evolved in distinguishing predators also have problems of their own. Sometimes, herds wage hostile wars between themselves. There is rivalry for food, hungrily and avariciously hiding them from others. They also battle for their own habitats, roaring and bellowing at one another, trying to terrify each other into leaving, and if that doesn’t work, they sometimes resort to brutality. At times, they even battle for a member of the herd itself.

I look past the dreadful scenes and see some grooming themselves, intermingling with other creatures such as themselves, most of the time with the creatures in their own herds, but the most appropriate term would be: Pride.

As I watch, the noise of the wild grows even louder and louder, the entire ecosystem, the entire habitat in one colossal riotous and tempestuous pandemonium!

Hey, welcome to high school.

I have five days left until the twelfth.
Two chapters.
2 pages/1500 words per chapter.
600 words per day.

Somehow, I don't think I can make it.
Textile paint and photoshop are taking too much of my time.
First things first.
Shoot... I haven't practiced for guitar yet!
13 hours to do so.
I only have 24 days left until... *shudders*

Fingers stiff from the cold, headache beginning to rise, still very much wide awake.

I'm doomed.

I clicked "yes" on the "Restore from saved draft?" dialog box and found that the saved draft held nothing but the letter "J".

Just J.

I have no idea where that came from, honestly.

Oh, I have a headache. And that's about it.

Ah, summer...

I almost miss school.

I know so many words synonymous to boredom but none of them can really describe what I am feeling right now. Empty, perhaps? Unfulfilled?

While I abhor work and other things that resembles it, I miss the thrill of deadlines and multitasking, the hum of being busy and being so close to bursting to tears. Why? Why should I miss this? Because it makes me feel like I've actually done something worthwhile at the end.

Like the English critique, freshmen year! It was almost (or was it already?) the end of the school year and we were still struggling to finish it. My partner actually brought her printer to school! We actually finished it there with her laptop! It was hard to stick with the maximum number of pages seeing that we disagreed at almost every aspect of the story, but it was fun, even when I was running around with the critique in my hands, looking for out English teacher.

CL song, sophomore year. We had to make a tune for "Our Father" and it was the day we had to perform it in front of our teacher and the class and we had not done a single thing. Recess time,I made up a tune based on the guitar chords than a group mate of ours... um... "borrowed" from a willing friend from another class. The tune was very different though, and we got a high grade for it. *chuckles*

And there are so many other experiences that I can recount but these two are really what are on my mind right now. I don't know why, but they're really what I can remember. Or what I choose to remember. Ah well.

April 23, 2008
2:15 pm

I bolted out of my house, running as fast as one lugging a guitar can to the elevator. I kept checking my watch. Not that it wasn't something I do even when I wasn't in a hurry.

I was swearing under my breath. I really couldn't do much with my mother with me. I only had fifteen minutes to get to the mall, a five minute walk away depending on traffic, then I had to get to the Music Studio which was in the basement that was another five minutes, depending on the crowd. Then there was the wait for the elevator. That could take any time between a second and... Well, sky's the limit.

I pushed my way into the elevator, dragging my mother with me.

Blah, blah, blah, crossed the street, parted ways with mother who was heading to a different mall to buy a memory card, a bit more blah and a lot more pushing and swearing, and I finally got to the Music Studio with a minute to spare!

2:30 pm

All that effort to make in on time wasted.

I sat in the Music Studio, the place where I have my lessons for guitar, and for fifteen minutes I just sat on one of the chairs outside, waiting for my teacher to finish with his student.

I was stuck outside for fifteen minutes surrounded by kids from all ages who were making all kinds of noises and the most stupid of jokes. They all knew each other, regrettably, so each joke would be met with a chorus of laughter and pathetic comebacks. And I was stuck there without my iPod which I was forced to leave behind because it ran out of battery.

I kept checking my watch, the clock on the cellphone, and the giant clock on the wall to my left just watching the seconds tick by so slowly.

I wonder if any of them noticed that I was banging my head on my guitar?

3:15 pm

I emerged from my guitar lessons, glad that the kids weren't out there anymore to bother me. I marched out of the Music Studio and went  straight up the escalator to the food court, wondering where the hell I was going. I had five hundred pesos in my pocket. What could I do with it?

Without a second thought, I went straight up to the toy store to look for Mortal Kombat for the Wii!

Well, I was instructed to check it out. Don't look at me that way. The point is, I wanted Mortal Kombat and my little sister wanted Smackdown vs Raw and I won.

The whole time I was there, I couldn't help feeling that the guard I passed on my way in was watching me. Why can't people trust teenage girls wandering malls alone anymore? I had a guitar in the guitar bag I was hauling around. Not a machine gun.

Anyway...

I burst out of there, still refusing to make eye contact with anyone, and made my way to the bookstore just across the toy store. I gasped when I saw that all the books I wanted were there. Naturally, I was cursing myself for bringing only five hundred with me. Eventually, I was able to settle on one book, made my way back down to the food court to buy myself new pens in the bookstore down there since not a lot of pens really survived very long with me.

Finally, with everything I bought stuffed in my guitar bag with my two clear books which seem to be much heavier than the guitar itself, I made my way home, cursing the heat every step of the way.

Why the hell are you still reading this? It's not the least bit entertaining.

When I got back home, my whole family, except my big sister, was there. Considering how busy my father has been these last few... Ah... *coughyearscough* this can be considered the whole family.

So, for the rest of the night, I either read my new book, continued the arduous task of finishing the drawing in my big ass sketchpad, chatted with my friends online to the best of my ability seeing that I was just a little bit distracted, and stayed out of the way of my dad and my big sister who finally made it home from lunch with her friends just in time for dinner with family as they packed for their trip.

April 24, 2008

2:19 pm

Anyone notice that Simple Plan doesn't hate their parents any more? Their new album is definitely much different from their last ones.

I sit alone at home, my father and sister on a plane to Northern Europe, my mother dropping my little sister off to a sleep over. I suddenly just realized the date and now I am scrambling to open MS Word to type in my second birthday gift to a friend.

*sighs*

Busy, busy, busy.

[/sarcasm]

It's 12:42 and I'm sitting here with a cup of hot mocha. There's no one left to talk to, my whole family asleep. Online, there's only Farfalla and I like talking to her more in person than through a computer screen.

Did you know I'm not allowed to have an imagination past 8?

I'm not allowed to write and I'm not allowed to draw. I can't even stand or sit beside a paper or pen without my mother getting suspicious of my intentions.

Why am I not allowed?

It's because my mind is still active when I go to bed so I get struck by insomnia.

So what? I'd rather lose my sleep than lose my mind.

And Farfalla just said goodbye... It's only 12:45! *raises eyebrow*

Anyway... I'm allowed to have music or instruments with me seeing that I'll be playing around with someone elses imagination instead of mine. You don't need to think with music anyway. You just need to feel. But then when they discover that I'm trying to compose songs... yes, I compose.

*sighs*

It sounds ridiculous, doesn't it? I'm not allowed to have an imagination past 8

I have a ghost story, my friends.

They were here and they made their presence felt.

When I tell this, it frightens people.

But why, I ask you. Why does it scare you so?

It was in no way physical. They were not vocal at all, not even uttered the softest word. The only sense that they affected was sight.

They were kind people when they were still alive. I heard a few stories about them and I longingly wish to be able to see them, to hear them.

Why does it scare you?

My grandparents died before I was born, before even my parents were married. I miss them though I've never met them. At least not when I was awake.

My sisters and i were still babies or toddlers when they came, the three of us sleeping. My grandmother had walked into the room, seeing two people looking down upon us lovingly, I can only assume. One was a man, the second was a woman. They looked at her and smiled before vanishing.

That's not the only story of them coming around even after they died, but it's one of my favorites.

Meanwhile, I tried going the whole day without using the computer and failed miserably. I swear that i shall try again tomorrow! I shall use pen and notebook for writing instead of my laptop! And I shall also exercise.

And I thoroughly agree!

What happened to entertainment? I'm in love with those good ol' days when everyone could sing and dance and act and all these amazing things! Fred Astaire, Gene Kelly, Debbie Reynolds, Clark Gable, Judy Garland, Ginger Roberts, Elizabeth Taylor, Mickey Rooney, and so many others!

*laughs* Yes, old musicals are a secret love of mine.

I just wish that out standards for entertainment were that high as they were back then. They were amazing movies with amazing stunts for dances and the most amazing songs. *sighs*

Have you ever walked past a pet shop, glanced at the bird cages, and saw a dead bird being eaten by the others?

It was sick, I tell you. SICK!

IT HAD NO HEAD AND THEY WERE TEARING ITS FEET OFF!

And yet it was all strangely amusing...

Because you should not ask me stupid questions and let me be by myself for too long. This is the "The Complexities of Black and White". Enjoy.

-1-

You know, I’ve been thinking, is white the absence of color? Is black the mixture of all colors?

 

-2-

I actually don’t believe that black and white are colors…

 

-1-

What makes you say that?

 

-2-

Well, if you really think about it, black and white really don’t exist in the natural world

 

-1-

(Points to hair)

This is black, and the part around the iris is white.

 

-2-

Hair isn’t truly black if you look closer. And the white part in the eye is really more of a light yellowish and reddish hue

 

-1-

But if you mix all the colors, I really do believe that you’ll get black.

 

-2-

But believing in it doesn’t make it true. If you mix all the colors, you will get brown

 

-1-

No way

 

-2-

It’s true. If you mix the primary colors, blue, red, and yellow, you’ll get brown and all colors come from the three primaries.

 

-1-

But you can prove that mixing all the colors does get black

 

-2-

Without mixing any colors that’s mixed with black or white? You can’t mix it with white because that’ll be like mixing air with paint because air is also an absence of colors, according to you. You can’t use any colors with a hint of black either because you have to mix all the colors first for the colors to exist.

 

-1-

Um… “Colors of the Wind”?

 

-2-

That’s just stupid…

 

-1-

I think that this whole thing is stupid! Who cares if black is a color or not?

 

-2-

I do, and you do too. You were the one who asked me.

 

-1-

Well, I didn’t know you were going to take things so seriously.

 

-2-

We should take things more seriously. Because we don’t, the world is falling to ruins!

 

-1-

No. The world is falling to ruins because instead of doing something, we sit around discussing whether or not black and white are freaking colors! Face it, no one but you takes them that seriously!

 

-2-

I’m sure there’s someone else out there who does.

 

-1-

Fine. Whatever. While you and this person is obsessing over the mysteries of the colors of the rainbow—

 

-2-

That’s it! The rainbow is a combo of many colors and yet it’s not called a color! If black is a combo of all, then it shouldn’t be called a color!

 

-1-

It’s not a color because it’s light that got filtered through raindrops making the colors in the sunlight split.

 

-2-

Rainbow is light?

 

-1-

Argh! The world is falling into ruins and you’re focusing on trivial things! I am going to go and save a dolphin or something!

(Exits)

 

-3-

(Approaches 2)

So, do you agree with the death penalty?

 

-2-

I don’t know. I don’t care about those things.

(Exits)

 

-3-

Right…

You know that there's something from with you if you normally fall asleep past four in the morning and while waiting for that time, occupy yourself by saying the English and Filipino alphabet forwards and backwards as well as counting sheep to the thousands. *laughs bitterly* I'm actually considering learning the Greek Alphabet for fun. For fun, dammit!

So, summer...

It started fun, going out with my friends to a mall to watch a movie in a cinema that had something wrong with the audio. It was rather funny, actually. Then met them again two days ago for more movies. And then met a different group of friends just yesterday just to hang out. And then in two days again, ANILAO!

Meanwhile, I'm at the age when I can already drive but I don't even know the dang basics even though my older sister learned when she was a year younger than I am now. And my cousin who taught her moved away somewhere far taking his car with him! How am I going to learn now?

Yeah, I'll just be jumping from one topic to the next in this entry...

What else is there to talk about?

My mother says I'm getting too "bootylicious" for my own good. I kid you not. It... It scares me, it really does... Where is she learning these words?!

Oh, I met my cousin who I haven't seen in years yesterday! Prom also surprisingly came up a few times yesterday... I don't know why people are so curious about who I'm taking. Leave it alone!

SSS has Maximum Ride: Final Warning. I gasped when I saw it. I have been looking for it for how long! But the book that I'm really waiting for is Artemis Fowl: Time Paradox that is coming out on July 15 this year! I have already reread all the books already, even the graphic novel and Artemis Fowl Files I'm even slowly memorizing Gnommish again. Hey, maybe I can recite that when I'm trying to sleep as well! Yeah, I'm mocking myself. Why do you ask?

And I guess this ends this entry. Yeah, none of my days are exciting enough to have an entire entry dedicated to it... No offense, friends! Aut_mortis tells it much better. Go stalk her blog. Not mine.

And Livejournal doesn't recognize the word "blog".